john deere factory tour

no photography allowed in the john deere factory. it's like fort knox here. i should've toured the tyson chicken factory next door instead. i could've taken some awesome chicken carcass photos!! the tour was a little longer than anticipated. 1.5 hrs. first, we watched a 19 minute film about the history of john deere and the secret he's kept all these years - yes, he's queer. no, some BS, "i won't put my name on anything i haven't put my best into." blah blah blah... boring!!! oompa loompas!!! now!!! after the film, we go into the actual factory and are put onto a chain of seated carts that are pulled by a small john deere tractor. some really old guy is seated up front talking to us thru a staticky mike and stereo system; telling us about what we're supposedly seeing. can't really understand much he's saying. sounds like he left his dentures out; or like boomhauer on king of the hill. he keeps saying "now, over here is the blah blah 8.1 deisel fuel 18 cylinder blah blah..." but he never points or faces to where this over here is. so, all 20 or so of us on the tour, are just turning our heads around trying to find what the fuck he's talking about. everything here is definitely yellow and green. EVERYTHING!!! no smiles though; nowhere to be found. though all the employees are riding these goofy 3-wheeled bikes around the factory. baskets, horns, ribbons and all. it's pretty funny - these greased up beer-belly mechanic/trucker guys (and a few gals who look about the same) riding these things around; occasionally waving a hand to us. the tractors are pretty cool and ginormous. like transformers. left immediately after the tour. no gift shop crap for me; just wanted out. hadn't eaten breakfast yet, was feeling woozy from the slow driving, old guy static mumbling, the climate controlled factory atmosphere, and flourescent lighting. ran out of the john deere factory in the pouring rain. started thinking about it and laughed. i'm running away from the john deere factory in waterloo, ia in the pouring rain. WHAT THE FUCK?