more questions of the everyday

what am i doing? collecting experiences? for what? for bragging rights? to whom? what am i doing?

been thinking about that a lot lately. and wondering whether all of this is fruitless? i remember talking to kelly in st. louis about the trip i was embarking on - "you know you're not going to find anything out there..." he said. i told him i knew that. and i do.

i found a quote this morning in regards to the thoughts i've been debating. it's inspiring, but in a lot of ways, it makes me want to stop what i'm doing. to stop all i've started and just live my life, without saying a word about it.

"for the mistake is thinking that the quantity of experiences depends on the circumstances of our life when it depends solely on us. to two men living the same number of years, the world always provides the same sum of experiences. it is up to us to be conscious of them. being aware of one's life, one's revolt, one's freedom, and to the maximum, is living, and to the maximum."- albert camus the myth of sisyphus