scenario #2 (certainly the more feasible of the two)

i press 0 4 8. the intercom unit emits a dialtone. then a requesting ring. ringring... ringring... ringring... ringring... ringring... ringring... heather runs to her front door, presses a button on the wall, and talks into the receiver...

hello? hello? is this heather? heather bomb? yes, who is this? well, you don't really know me but we've kind of talked before... and exchanged a few emails... my name is jamie... jamie from... CHEAP JOE'S ART STUFF... (a horror/suspense flick 'DUHDUHDUM' sounds)

silence. no answer... heather?... still no answer...

bzzz!!chink!! the door in front of me unlocks. i'm allowed entrance. i walk upstairs and down a long hallway. last room on the right - #048. i face the door. take a deep breath. raise my fist. tap once. the door swings open...

hello?...

i see nothing. eyes slow to adjust to the darkness of the room. i see a hand floating. index finger extends. curls. entices me to come here, come here. i step forward. the door quickly shuts behind me. i feel a warm breath on the back of my neck. i turn quickly. heather has her arms wrapped around me. she's kissing my neck. i grab her shoulders and push her away slightly. she's wearing a pleasantly-revealing piece of negligee (a frilly lace teddy or something of the sort. use yr imagination).

kiss me. what?

she presses her lips to mine. running her fingers thru my hair. we caress. embrace. she throws me to the floor. straddles me at the waist. pins my arms down and starts kissing my neck.

well, this was unexpected. shut up. ok...

she lifts my shirt and kisses my chest. works her way lower and lower. i lift my head to see her moving down. she starts unlatching my belt. woo-hoo!! i rest my head back down. look up into the dark air above. smile. sweet begeezus!!

then without warning - she quickly throws herself back onto my pelvis. tightens her legs around me. raises her arms high above her head... what's that shiny sharp object you've got in yr hands there dear?... brings her arms down. thrusts the object into my chest. then out. up. into the air above her head again... oh shit. that's an ice pick. you're stabbing me with an ice pick. i thought we were gettin it on... she stabs me again... it's like that scene in basic instinct with sharon stone and michael douglas... she stabs me again... not michael douglas. the fat sumo boy rather... she stabs me again... and again... and again... oh well, not much i can do now... my head dizzies. brilliant splashes of red spew forth saturating everything within my vision.... aaargh!!

i die.