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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

the picture i showed my therapist

a couple cowboys driving a painfully-bright-yellow volkswagen beetle...
uhh...?? what was that?! i think i'm in shock?! i don't know what to say...



my therapist (mr. t, for short): well, what do you see in this picture?
jamie: a couple cowboys driving a painfully-bright-yellow volkswagen beetle.
mr. t: good good. that's what i see as well. now, what's the first thing that comes to mind, when you look at this picture?
jamie: umm... GAY?
mr. t: okay, GAY. good. i'm writing that down. what else comes to mind?
jamie: umm... GAY.
mr. t: right, you said that. other than GAY, what comes to mind when you look at this picture?
jamie: umm... HOMO-EROTIC?
mr. t: okay jamie, other than GAY and synonyms of the word, GAY, what comes to mind?
jamie: umm... THE VILLAGE PEOPLE.
mr. t: THE VILLAGE PEOPLE..?
jamie: ...IN A CLOWN CAR.
mr. t: THE VILLAGE PEOPLE IN A CLOWN CAR..? okay, anything else?
jamie: umm... THE AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO.
mr. t: THE AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO..? who are they?
jamie: oh, sorry. here, take a look at this. and this.
mr. t: okay. so, THE AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO..?
jamie: ...IN A CLOWN CAR.
mr. t: THE AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO IN A CLOWN CAR..? okay, what else?
jamie: umm... JOHN WAYNE.
mr. t: JOHN WAYNE..?
jamie: ...AND CLINT EASTWOOD.
mr. t: JOHN WAYNE AND CLINT EASTWOOD..? okay, well that's interesting...
jamie: ...AS THE AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO.
jamie: ...IN A CLOWN CAR.
mr. t: JOHN WAYNE AND CLINT EASTWOOD AS THE AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO IN A CLOWN CAR..? anything else?
jamie: no.
mr. t: okay then, how does that make you feel?
jamie: NAUSEOUS.
mr. t: NAUSEOUS..?
jamie: yes.
mr. t: anything else?

jamie: umm... GAY.
mr. t: NAUSEOUS AND GAY..?
jamie: ...RUGGEDLY GAY.
mr. t: NAUSEOUS AND RUGGEDLY GAY..?
jamie: yes.
mr. T: are we forgetting anything?
jamie: probably.
mr. t: okay, well let's stop there, jamie. this clown car of cowboys... the sense of nauseau, shock, speechlessness, rugged gayness... they can all be explained by three simple words.
jamie: three words..?
mr. t: that's right!
jamie: BAD ACID TRIP?
mr. t: no. well yes, possibly, but no. are you ready..?
jamie: yes, just tell the viewers at home.
mr. t: okay. the three words are...

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