the 3rd wheel that is my life

kelly invites everyone back to his place and says i can crash there if i want for the nite. was still kind of thinking i might leave for columbia, mo but i decide to follow them. shibazz?? is already there passed out in one of the bedrooms. hang out for a long time with the group of friends. just listening to them talk mostly. music, drugs, video games. the norm i'd say. i put my two cents in here and there. come out of the bathroom at one point and amy, tim, and ryan are leaving. amy says she'll be right back. go in the living room and me and kelly just start talking for a long time. not shallow shit either, life shit. great conversation. by the end of it we're exchanging books-illusions for into the wild-and hugs. amy calls. kelly gives her hell for abandoning this guy she's just met (that's me) at his house. she eventually comes back and they argue a little. i start to feel like the "third wheel," which is my life, apparently, even though they aren't dating-used to? she says goodnite to kelly and walks over to me to do the same. i feel like i should stand up and hug her, but i think because of the slight awkwardness and tension in the air-- i just stay seated, smile and say "goodnite. i'll see you in the morning."