tender forever

alright, i hope you're all ready. this is where things start to get a little exciting. during the next couple weeks some of the most difficult yet amazing and beautiful things occur in my life. this nite somehow marks the start of it. so, without further ado...

i proposed to a french lesbian rock star tonite. these things just happen. not just any french lesbian rock star though - tender forever aka melanie. let's start from the beginning...

i go to the SUB at the college of santa fe for the show. get there around 8:30pm. the SUB is a tiny dining/performance area primarily for the students. kind of surprised to see calvin johnson playing here? there's a small yet good crowd of maybe 30 kids. and me. and some older trashy lady. pushes her way inside without buying a ticket. says she grew up with calvin and wants to see him. "he'll remember me." of course he will, dear.

before the music starts i spot calvin wandering thru the crowd. tall. grey hair. older than i envisioned. forgot he's been doing this for decades now. not the young kid from beat happening anymore. some time goes by. i go up to the merch booth. sift thru the cds and buttons for sale. someone comes up behind me - "hello?" in a pleasant curious tone. i turn around. recognizing who it is immediately i say, "oh, hey calvin," and then continue perusing the cds. he sits by himself a few feet from the merch booth. looks a little distraught. maybe he's uncomfortable with all these strangers knowing who he is, without even being able to introduce himself. a form of rockstar psychosis?

to correct my possible mistake, i lean over and say, "i'm jamie by the way." "hey jamie, i'm calvin." "hey, calvin. nice to meet you." "you too."

normal introduction taken care of. let's continue.

the opening act eventually goes on. a band called moustache anonymous. some of the local college of santa fe kids. sounds like a teenage dub narcotic sound system cover band. not bad. not exactly good. their look is better than their sound - mohawks and fake glasses w/ big noses and moustaches. i take a seat at the back of the room as they perform. notice calvin seated over at the merch booth. the old trashy lady who "knows him" is now sitting to his right. talking his ear off. calvin looks painfully uninterested in whatever it is she's saying. keeps looking away while she talks. a suggested rolling of the eyes. he looks over in my direction repeatedly as if he's asking me to save him from her. i think about getting up and interrupting her conversation, but decide i'm sufficiently entertained. no need to get involved.

after moustache anonymous, the girl known as tender forever sets up her equipment - a microphone, a tiny casio keyboard, and a cd player hooked up to a bunch of wires. when she's all ready she introduces herself (with a noticable french accent) as melanie. aka tender forever. tells us she's from france. weary from the road and touring. same here. but excited to be here and hoping we all dance and have fun. same here.

so she performs... imagine singing your favorite pop songs as if you're alone in your bedroom. hopping and dancing around with the freedom of no one watching you. that's tender forever. running around in the audience. taking off people's clothes and putting them on herself. telling goofy stories in between. singing. dancing. mayhem. fun. and all this with an amazing french voice... unnghh!! my heart!!

needless to say, i'm hooked after two songs. i find a scrap piece of paper and write

"WILL YOU MARRY ME? CIRCLE YES NO or MAYBE."

i put the note in my shirt pocket and continue to dance. waiting for the opportune moment to give it to her. next time she hops my way i'll just slide it on the floor to her. then i start listening to the actual lyrics of her songs. hmmm??... lots of mentioning of girlfriends... and taking each other's shirts off... and making out... maybe i should just hang on to this little note here?

so i do. just listen to her songs and dance along. she stage dives at one point (though there's no actual stage). we lift her in the air and move her across the room. then back down again to play a few more songs. good times. good times.

when she finishes. i go up to thank and congratulate her. the next thing i know, i'm taking the note out of my pocket. with a big smile on my face i say, "i was going to give this to you earlier while you were performing, but after listening to a few of those songs i didn't think it would be quite relevant."

she reads the note. laughs. gives me a half hug and asks, (remember, french accent) "what is your name?" "jamie." "thank you jamie. i'm melanie. i'll keep this..." we talk a little. but there's a line forming of other people who want a piece of her. mostly girls. before being forced away i ask, "hey do you and calvin want a 3rd wheel?" "a what?" "a 3rd wheel. you know someone else to go with you on tour. i'm just travelling myself and..." "yeah, that would be cool. we have plenty of room in the van. i mean it's boring. we're just going to california next and then home but yes, yes..."

the girls overtake melanie and i'm squeezed out like the scraggily-bearded deathcabbie turd i am.



i purchased TENDER FOREVER-THE SOFT AND THE HARDCORE CD a couple days later. found this song to be oddly fitting.
TENDER FOREVER - "MARRY ME"