a five paragraph persuasive essay

hmmm... a ram crossing?! that's a first for me.

you know, it's not until you see one of these animal crossing signs, that you actually start worrying about running into that animal. i've never once thought of crashing into a ram. cars, yes. people, yes. rams... no. but now that i've seen this sign, all i can think of us is this big ol' suicidal ram running into the middle of road for a game of chicken.

they should do everyone a favor and get rid of these signs altogether. we'd drive much safer, much calmer, not knowing. not worrying about whatever deer, or moose, or cow, or... ram?! might leap in front of our car at any minute.

take this for example, i've never worried about running over, or into, a frog. figure, well shit, even if i do, no big deal - it's a frog. but i see a sign like this...

(a road sign in scotland. image from http://www.phouka.com/travel/other/signs/signs.html)

and suddenly i have visions of thousands of frogs on the road. a sea of green. frogs jumping on my windshield. frogs squishing under my tires... everywhere. green. green frogs. green frog parts. green frog guts. then i'm swerving off the road into a grand green canyon of more frogs.

or how about this one...

i'm suddenly terrified that a giant dragging his child to school is going to cross in front of me. i was never worried about that before. but now i can't help but nervously await a giant surprise.

let there be no animal crossing signs. let it be a surprise which animal i hit, or hits me. like reaching into a box of animal crackers. and not knowing which animal's head i'm going to chew off next... which animal's head is the deathcab going to chew off next? oh, let it be a surprise.