saying goodnite

katie eventually comes out with the keys. looks a little upset. "is everything alright?" i ask. "yeah... let's go." "okay."

becca stops me on our way out. looks at me suspiciously. "what's your name again?" "jamie (you've heard this before)." "where are you from?" sense she's drunk and unnecessarily concerned about me taking her sister home. giving me the fifth degree. "north carolina." hoping to diffuse any worries, i continue, "do you want my phone number? just in case?" i'm surprised i'm not being more of a smart ass and asking if she wants my social security number. she realizes she already has my phone number from all the numerous calls katie previously made to her."no, i guess i've got it already." still concerned and with a slight venom, "you better not hurt her..." with as much politeness and reassurement i can muster, "i won't. don't worry."

we get to katie's house around 4am. it's a gated community. need to buzz, or be buzzed, thru. becca has the buzzer. she reassured us when we left that all we needed to do was call her and she would let us in. why did we agreed to this? couldn't just take the buzzer ourselves? think maybe becca was thinking of this as a precaution. we'd have to call and therefore she'd know her sister arrived home safely. i call becca... no answer. fuck. call becca again... no answer. you're fucking kidding me? call her again... still no answer. what? did she pass out? we're finally here!! finally at katie's house but we can't get in the fucking gates!! i call one more time... finally an answer. "hello?" having lost all patience, "hey becca? you gonna let us in or what?" "yeah, sorry... i didn't know..." i've stopped listening. "alright, just let us in." she buzzes us thru.

homefree. we're in katie's apartment. it's so late. i'm so tired. i lay down on her living room floor. sprawl out on my back. oh... thank god. this has been one of the longest days of my life.

katie gets ready for bed. i go into the bathroom. brush my teeth. wash my face. come out. see her lying in bed, getting under the covers. feel like jumping on top of her in sheer joy. the night is nearly over. we're finally alone. let's go to bed! "well, you can sleep in here or on the couch? whatever you're more comfortable with?" a little disappointed that this is still unresolved, i respond, "it's up to you. whatever you're more comfortable with..."

as fate would have it, i wind up staying in her bed. talking and laughing with the lights out til the wee hours of the morning. i ask at some point, "are you gonna punch me if i kiss you?" she laughs. "no, but i might knee you..." "where exactly?"

we share a friendly kiss.

a few more words before saying goodnite, without actually saying goodnite. she mentions something about "ft. walton" (a beach in florida, i think?). then there's silence. "are you asleep?" no answer. notice she has all the covers. "are you a blanket hog?" she answers with a light snore. "guess that's a yes?"

stuck in the middle

leave frontier. head back to katie's. except... turns out becca (katie's sister) happens to have katie's house keys. can't get into her apartment without them. gonna be another long night in the ol' deathcab tonite unless we track becca down and get a hold of those keys. easier said than done.

katie calls becca. a few times. gets directions to the friend's house she's at. the directions turn out not to be so accurate. drive up and down a few streets. a few times. can't find the house. a few more phone calls are made. we drive down a few more streets. finally spot katie's car. becca's gotta be nearby. i park my car. katie calls becca. "we're here... which house is it?" "i'm standing out front right now but i don't see you guys..." we don't see her either. it's dark. very dark. i get out of the car. take a few steps. i spot a shadow. "becca?" "over here..."

go inside the house becca disappeared into. disappeared being the key word. don't see her anywhere. no time to think about that now though. katie and i both have to pee really really bad. go down a small dark hallway to a bathroom at the end. i go in first. close the door behind me. unzip and relieve myself. oh... sweet heavens!! zip back up. powder my nose. open the door. katie's standing in the dark. "where's my sister?" "i don't know? i think she's in one these rooms..." i point to a couple closed doors in the hallway. then retire to the living room sofa and wait for katie.

i hear her come out of the bathroom. "becca?..." "i'm in here," a voice says from behind one of the closed doors. "where's my keys?" "you can come inside, you know?..." a door opens. i overhear the beginnings of their conversation. turns out becca is quite drunk. "where's my keys?" "in my coat. wait, what are you doing? how'd you get here?" "jamie brought me." "who?" i chuckle that she already forgot who i am. "the guy from the bar." "who?" "jamie" "how are you gonna get home?" "jamie's going to drive me?" "jamie? who is he again?" katie re-iterates, "the guy from the bar." i chuckle again. more painfully this time. "you don't even know this guy?!..." think they overhear my laughter. "come in here and shut the door..."

a few minutes pass. of yelling, arguing, muffled cries. this is turning out to be quite a mess. don't know that i want to get in the middle it. i overhear one of the sisters say, "i just wanna go home, i just wanna go home..." a sentiment i think we all share.

i'm sitting on the living room sofa with my head in my hands. what am i doing here? i should leave. i don't want to get involved... they continue arguing. can't tell who's saying what. sounds like becca wants katie to stay here. katie wants becca to come home with her, or us? i should just sneak out quietly. spend the nite in my car...

i raise myself from the stranger's sofa i've spent the last 15+ minutes on. take a few steps towards the front door. begin to have doubts. shit. what should i do? why don't i just leave?... i pace slowly. i should leave...

i put my hand on the front door knob. jiggle the handle. it makes a louder noise than i expect. scares me back to the sofa.

i'll just wait for katie...

the wild frontier

so, katie and i are driving over to frontier. this 24 hour mexican diner. becca wound up taking katie's car to her friend's house. so it's just dinner for two this evening. or morning. it's about 2am. we arrive. there's a huge line outside the restaurant. cops with metal detectors are frisking everyone as they go in. hmm... never been frisked on my way into a restaurant before. not sure if that's a good sign or not? can check it off my list though (except these are male cops).

we start talking to the guys in back of us. ask them what's going on? apparently this happens every night. the cops show up after a certain hour and r-e-g-u-l-a-t-e. keep the local burrito eaters in check. katie's never been here this late so she's never been frisked for a burrito before either. we're both a little concerned. we get inside. wait in line some more. eventually place an order for two frontier burritos w/ green chile. ahh... green chile burritos. can check that off my list now too (though i'm not sure of the magical properties of these burritos). was told by the guys in back of us that i can't leave albuquerque without trying the green chile. it's supposedly highly addictive. wouldn't be surprised if it's laced with heroin. takes a few minutes to get ready. we grab a seat. start talking. then our number comes up. i get the food katie's been dying for since i met her. sit back down.

forgot to get silverware. i get up again. walk over to where the utensils are. okay, i need a couple forks... some napkins... could use some knives... knives? wait where are the knives?

a guy standng next to me notices my confusion. "looking for a knife?" "yeah." "they don't have knives here. afraid we're gonna cut each other up." "uhhh... are you joking?" "nope." great? well, i guess i'll make do without them." i return to my seat. eat my green chile burrito a little more cautiously than i normally would.

not making any promises

i look over at laura one last time. notice she's got a friend with her now. boyfriend. or other. very scary regardless. has white face paint and lipstick on. hair in huge pointy mohawked spikes. lots of piercings. yes? i think laura's probably a little too freaky for me? let's just forget about her.

i turn my attention to katie. her and becca are still talking. they're ready to leave but they're both a little too tipsy to drive. or to want to drive. katie re-iterates her previous offer, "if you take me out for some food, i'll let you stay at my place. unless you don't want to? it's your decision. i don't want to tell you what to do..." i begin to give in. "well, where would you want to go for dinner?" "mmm... how about frontier (a 24hr mexican diner)?" "so, let me get this clear... if i buy you dinner you'll let me stay at your place for the nite?" "yes. unless you don't want to?..."

i'm starting to buckle. really don't know why i'm resisting at all? she senses that. talks it over with her sister while finishing her drink. "i'll drive with jamie and meet you there. you take my car..." i interrupt, "woh?! wait a minute. i didn't know my car was part of the equation here? there's no room in my car. all my shit is in it. i can't fit another person..." "what? what equation? your car doesn't have to be part of the equation?"

i'm a little confused. not sure how all this is going to work out. they're a little too drunk to drive. and i don't have room in my car for more passengers. turns out a friend of becca's can drive them home if necessary. i'm still confused though. katie and becca are talking in circles. who is going where? in whose car? with who? when? now? how? in whose car? where? i'm starting to drift off. then katie looks at me with those eyes. you know, those eyes.

"well?"

"listen. let's just get some food and you stay at my place..."

(okay. i surrender. i just need to know one thing...)

"this is probably going to sound a little offensive. but are you offering anything other than just... 'letting me stay at your apartment'?" she blushes. smiles. then carefully chooses her words...

"well, you can sleep in my bed but i can't promise anything will happen."

(sounds good enough for me. i'll take it!)

"well, i think i can make some room for you in my car."

a dialogue with the devil

a little devil appears on my shoulder...

what's there to think about?! what the fuck?! a girl just asked you to go back to her place, and all you have to do is get her food? what are you waiting for? i don't know? what about laura? laura?! the waitress you haven't said more than a few words too tonite? the same one who is looking angrily at you right now? yeah, that one... i'm tired. i just want to go to bed. i haven't spent a nite outside the deathcab in about 3 weeks. don't know that i'm up for changing that now. what?! it's freezing outside. you live in a car. wake up!! yeah, i know. i know. just let me think about it. think about it?! you whackjob!...

i flick the little fellow off my shoulder. disappears as quickly as he appeared.

meet katie

i'm leaning against a wall now. inbetween the stage and bar room. drinking a water. can't get drunk with a busted tail light remember? watching the last of the boobs go up, down, and all around. minutes pass like hours. feels like an eternity since i first entered the bar.

somebody taps me on the shoulder. "hey." i turn around. a petite, dark-skinned girl is standing there. long black hair. smokey cat-like eyes. very cute. "are you from kansas city?" i smile. these "where are you from" questions make me chuckle. hard to answer when i'm "from" a new place every few nites.

"no, i was there a couple months ago though travelling thru." "you look just like this bartender i know there. it's really weird. you look just like him..." is this a pick-up line? having flashbacks to my conversation with eva in fargo,nd.

"are you from albuquerque?" "no, actually this is my first day here. got here late last nite. been travelling around the country the last few months from north carolina." "oh really? i'm pretty new here too. just moved from kansas city 4 months ago. i'm katie. what's your name?" "jamie." "nice to meet you." "you too."

she's easy to talk to. i explain about my travels and living in the car. sleeping at the walmart in albuquerque last nite. don't think she thought i was serious at first. find out she was raised in el paso, tx which is right at the mexican border. in fact, her dad is mexican. which means katie could be....???. she recently graduated from college in kansas city, mo. moved to albuquerque, nm in part because her sister lives here. and is now working for alibi - the newspaper i was reading earlier and discovered this burlesque show in.

so, we're chatting. nice to have a pleasant conversation with a pleasant-looking girl. eventually asks if i want to follow her over to the bar so she can get another drink. i agree. "the two of us gotta stick together since we're not from albuquerque." she sits and i stand at the bar. orders a drink. i order a water... from a disgruntled bar-back.

notice laura (the waitress) standing near the bar. sees me and katie talking. looks a little upset. she passes us a few times with drinks. no longer smiling as she did before. get the sense she feels somehow betrayed. katie and i are getting along though. she's a little tipsy. maybe i am too? hard to tell these days. we're talking. maybe flirting? also hard to tell these days. her sister, becca, eventually joins in. we're formally introduced. then the two of them start gabbing away. i stare off for awhile. there's the bartender's moustache... the tv... the disgruntled bar-back... his wife-beater... laura... she looks pissed. whatever? i should leave soon anyway. getting late. don't know where i'm staying? no sense in worrying about girls.

my attention returns to katie and becca. "i'm really really hungry," katie says. "for something other than food," becca finishes. i smile to myself. don't know if they know i heard them.

katie makes a proposal. "how 'bout this jamie? you get me food and i'll give you a place to stay tonite." i'm caught a little off-guard. don't answer immediately. she continues, "i mean unless you don't want to? if you'd rather sleep in your car than over in my warm apartment that's fine." i smile and laugh. "well, let me think about it..."

the wonderlust continues

raven eventually gets up to chase down an ex-boyfriend. i remain at the booth by myself. inbetween sets now. a band is setting up to play. xavier (the host) is standing near me. getting a drink. talking with some girl. i overhear him say that he's moving to north carolina in a couple months - the raleigh area. i get his attention. tell him i'm from north carolina. he introduces himself. shakes my hand. we talk some. get the feeling he's flirting with me. tells me he has to run back onstage now but to "definitely find him before i leave." i think it over. mmm... don't think so?

prior to tonite, i'd seen a total of three boobs while on the road. one here, and a couple in columbia, mo (that i have yet to discuss). don't even want to try to keep track now. definitely seen enough boobs for one nite though. getting sleepy. it's nearing midnight. thinking of leaving. head back to the walmart or out of albuquerque altogether. not really feeling it here. i walk out, but catch a chill upon exiting the bar. scurry back inside to the warmth of booze and boobs. try again in a little bit.

sit back down at a booth. laura (the waitress) walks by a few times. smiling a little. not really saying much. we catch each other's glances here and there. sense a mutual attraction. passes me again. an empty beer glass slides off her tray. shatters on the floor near my foot. i quickly lean over to pick up the shards. she kneels down to do the same. we meet at the floor... this is oddly romantic? sense cupid doing his dirty work. maybe i should ask her out? see if she'd like to join me for breakfast or lunch tomorrow? a coffee or a mcgriddle in the morning? what the hell is a mcgriddle anyway? i have no clue. is it even breakfast food? wait. what am i doing? asking a girl in a bar - a bar where titties are being tossed left and right - if she'd like to have breakfast with me? guess i can't exactly ask if she'd like to come over to my place, the deathcab, later tonite?

we pick the remaining glass pieces from the floor. in silence. not a word. i stand after we've finished. dust my palms on pant legs. she gets up from the floor as well. "thank you..." she says. "oh, sure. don't mention it." i sit back down. sense she's a little embarrassed. i'm a little embarrassed. she walks away, presumably, to dispose of the glass shards.

a winter wonderlust begins

inside now. having never been to a burlesque show i don't know what to expect. the crowd is actually not too freakish. some guy wearing leather and fishnets is being pulled by his mistress on a chain latched around his neck. not impressed. seen the gimp in pulp fiction. there's a lot of lingerie attire here which is nice (on some people). plus there's a few older folks that look like anyone's mom or dad or 5th grade school teacher. chaperones perhaps? on a pleasant field trip to the local bar for a burlesque show? an interesting mix of people here nonetheless.

grab a beer as the performance gets underway. head up to the front of the stage. the host is a small asian man named xavier. explains winter wonderlust is a holiday themed burlesque show by the girls of burlesque noir and duke city derby. asks us if we're all ready to see some tits. the crowd erupts, "hell yeah!!! wooo!!!" i whisper a small "yey." a few girls come out and start to dance. if you could call it that. showing off their boobs. jiggling 'em. no nipples though. all wearing pasties. why? i don't know? maybe it's a strip show if nipples glow; a burlesque show if pasties flow?

must say, i'm already pretty bored after the first few acts. mostly a bunch of heavier set girls who are "proud of their bodies." just flapping their tits around. the dancing's a joke. the choreography / acting - painful. after the ninja vs. pirate skit i nearly swore off boobs altogether. fortunately there was this waitress there to change my mind. a prettier girl (especially compared to the ones performing). medium dreaded blonde hair. cute nose. tattoos. a little dirty. maybe slightly slutty? might have to do with the corset she's wearing? i introduce myself at some point while xavier (the host) is on stage singing about being a gigolo. find out her name is laura. she asks me if i'm having a good nite so far? i shrug my shoulders. smile. she smiles back. then runs upstairs with some drinks.

i sit down at a booth in the back of the bar while the boob fest continues. a big girl sits next to me. wearing all black. lots of lip and face piercings. her breasts pouring out of her dress onto the tabletop. "what do you think of the show so far?" "mmm... pretty boring. there's not much variety. all the girls look the same. they all have the same body type. and the dancing is pretty bad." "yeah, it is pretty painful." "what's your name?" i ask as i extend my hand. "raven." raven?? hey raven, i'm sabertooth tiger. "i'm jamie. nice to meet you." we shake on it. "where are you from jamie?" "well north carolina. been travelling the last couple months. this is my first day here." "i'll give you a week before you want out of albuquerque." i was thinking much sooner than that but say, "you think so?..."

the launchpad

welcome to the launchpad - a club in downtown albuquerque, nm. i took this picture earlier tonite because it (the rocket) reminded me of my friend jill in asheville, nc. she likes rockets. was unaware at the time that i would be back to see a burlesque show?? but back i am. only $5 to get in. not bad. or maybe it is. if it correlates to the quality of the performers in the show. thought it might be interesting to see what kind of crowd comes to these sorts of things. and i can finally check it off of my list of things i plan to do while in albuquerque, nm -

• get $5 from a stranger... check!!
• giggle with some schoolgirls... check!!
  
• get hit on by a large mexican man... check!!
  
• see a burlesque show... check!!
  
• get frisked by a cop (preferably female)
  
• eat a magical green chile burrito
  
• meet a mexican girl and fall in love
  
• ride a donkey named liberace into the desert. or at least a block in the bike lane on the interstate

so many more things i need to accomplish here, but who has time? who?

the events for the evening

peruse a copy of alibi (an independent newspaper for the albuquerque area) while in satellite coffee. check the entertainment section. see if anything interesting is happening tonite. kottonmouth kings at sunrise theater? already know i'm not going to that... some bands i've never heard of? blah, blah, blah... oohhh... a burlesque show at the launchpad!! never been to one of those...

bathroom portrait series

get back to the car. not up for drag racing. i forfeit. shiny blue car wins. decide to drive back towards the university. bunch of restaurants and such down there. find satellite coffee. recharge my camera battery and relax a little bit. take some potty shots while i'm there.

(photos taken in bathroom at satellite coffee in albuquerque, nm)

johnny utah in drag

i just saw her!! the kind of cute but scary girl from the whole foods in santa fe, nm!! she just drove by in a white mini-van. all FBI style. with no side or rear windows. front ones tinted. wouldn't have noticed her except the passenger window was rolled down. no mistaking that hair, or lack thereof. i'm scared. what if she's one of them?... a kind of cute but scary undercover FBI agent? a johnny utah in drag?...

"I... AM AN FBI AGENT!"

seriously though, what the fuck? why is she here? i'm the only one allowed to town hop.

fat guy in little jamie jacket

not much going on downtown. decide not to get a taco. get a compliment instead. from a big ol' mexican guy with a pony tail. these things just happen. points at me. says "i like it, i like it." i look at myself. what? my hair? my shirt? someone behind me? what? maybe he's coming on to me? if so, i'm scared. confused, i ask, "i'm sorry, you like what?" "the jacket. the jacket." he motions with his hands how i have my collar flipped up. "very nice. very nice. i like it." slightly embarrassed, and a little concerned that if i stick around too long my jacket will become his jacket, i smile and say, "oh, thank you," and continue walking.

deathcab vs. shiny blue car

wind up leaving the car in a hotel parking garage. park next to this guy. can't tell which of us has the sweeter ride? think a drag race between the deathcab and the shiny blue car might be in order? maybe after i get a taco?...

kkk in albuquerque

night time. wind up following the giggling school girls directions to the downtown area. looks like a riot is going on. turns out to be another bad music concert. surprisingly not at a gym or a community center this time though. kottonmouth kings at the sunshine theater. massive amounts of kids are wrapped around all the buildings on the block. waiting in line (as the second picture blurrily depicts). smoking cigarettes. talking shite. everyone wearing black. everyone. feel like busting over the curb with the deathcab. mowing some people down. save them from the torture of listening to some shitty shitty music. and yes, perhaps killing them in the process. a minor technicality. splattering their blood on the crowd that remains. breaking the monotonous black of everything with showers of red. oh, to dream... Killing Kottonmouth Kids - K.K.K.

demons dancing

come across these two dancing on campus. looks like the most evil and demonic rain dance ever. summoning the spirit of satan thru cha-cha. or tango? or salsa? i don't know what dance they're actually dancing, you? thought about cutting in but i don't want to be smote by a bolt of lightning. the chance of thunderstorms this morning was 60%. rising with every twist and turn on the dance floor.

lobos and lies lies lies

manage to find the university of new mexico. the lobos (school mascot). didn't know until i got here and saw the logo that lobos are wolves. gray wolves to be exact (thank you www.dictionary.com). that's my useless fact of the day. everything else i say will be lies. lies i tell you! lies lies lies!

did some updates. or did i? fortunate for the universities here in new mexico. not pressed for time. all the public libraries i've been to have time restrictions. like 30 minutes or an hour a day. always having to rush. not here. taking my sweet ass time. and no need for student id's either. it's like heaven. but not, in so many ways.

dreaming a little dream

warm sun... the pacific ocean... the beach... girls in bikinis... wait?! i must be dreaming?! yes. yes, i am...

i'm nowhere near the west coast. just shivering my ass off in the back of my car in a walmart parking lot in alburquerque, nm. how depressing?

starting mileage - 204867
exploring - albuquerque, nm

giggling schoolgirls

walking back to my car. open the bag of cranberries. toss a few in my mouth. start chewing. blah!! ewww!!! tastes like the rottenest sourest berries ever! blah!! just as i'm making the face to correspond with the taste, i notice a car of four young girls giggling at me. i quickly turn my frown upside down. put a goofy smile on. giggle back like the schoolgirl each one of them presumably is. they're parked in the car next to mine. look at me as i get in the deathcab. just sit in the driver's seat a while. not going anywhere. certainly not daring to eat anymore cranberries. just looking at my atlas and the mess of shit in the front passenger seat. someone knocks on my window. it's one of the girls in the car next to me. i roll down my window, "hello?" noticing she's either a little drunk or high, she says, "umm... we were just wondering if we could have some of your cherries?" "uhh... cherries? oh you mean these (refering to the bag of cranberries)? they're actually cranberries. they taste pretty bad. i don't know that you really want them. but you're welcome to have some." she takes the entire bag and goes back to her car. hmm... guess it's a good thing i got that $5. makes up for the $3 bag of berries just taken from me. i roll my window back up. moments later i hear a faint, "eewww!! gross!!" i look over and see them suffering with the cranberries. i giggle. mouth "i told you so" thru my window.

a few minutes pass. the girls are still parked in the car next to me. giggling. i'm still in the deathcab. cleaning. bagging trash. organizing. one of the girls yells over thru the car windows, "hey guy, what are you doing sitting in your car for so long?" i look over. they're still giggling. think they expect me to say and/or motion something dirty. i expect me to say and/or motion something dirty. instead, i hold up a trash bag and mouth thru my window once more, "cleaning." they nod. though they seem a little disappointed with my answer. i get out. motion them to roll down their window. kneel down so i am eye level with all of them. "hello? so, what are you guys doing sitting in your car for so long?" they answer with more giggles. no words. hmm...okay? let's try another approach. "how are all of you?" more giggles. no words. okay? well... "hey, well i just got into town tonite. just wondering if you all know any places i should check out that might be cool?" the girl in the driver seat says, "well, we're all underage..." oh really? couldn't figure that one out. "so we don't go out to bars or anything..." didn't know that was what i was asking? "but most everything is downtown." more giggles mixed with actual words this time, directing me to the downtown area. "alright, well have a goodnight." giggles goodbye. i get back in my car. look over at them one last time. stop giggling!! stop giggling!! start the engine. reverse out of the parking space. let them get a full glipse of me and the deathcab. then noisily put-put away to the far end of the parking lot; to sleep amongst the hopefully friendly RVs and mini-vans.

the cranberry stalker and more

make it to albuquerque. find a T & A truck stop. haven't stayed at one since hudson, wi. a long long time ago. i did stay at a random truck stop in denver, co. but there's something nostalgic about T & A. mmm... amanda... her T & A... mmm... i keep driving though. eventually find a walmart that looks a little safer. not so close to the interstate. decide to spend the nite there. it's hard to break out of something that's been working so smoothly, even if it isn't as glamorous as you expected. not that i expected living at walmarts to be glamorous.

wander around the store some. practically run into a girl. pretty but looks more tired than me. can't be a good sign. we smile at each other. sense her still looking at me as we go our separate ways.

i eventually get an employee's attention to ask a few questions. a wide-eyed, balding, slightly effeminate fellow. "excuse me. i was just wondering if this is relatively safe area. i'm travelling thru and will have to stay in my car overnight..." he looks at me. his wide-eyes widening. with a slight lisp he says, "oh my god... why? do you not have a place to stay?" "no, been travelling the last couple months. living out of the car. been mostly staying at walmarts and truck stops." "well why?" "just wanting to see the country. explore..." sense he's a little concerned. "oh my god, okay i mean yeah it's pretty safe here. i mean, i live a few blocks away and have never had a problem. but you're gonna sleep in your car in the lot here? oh my god..." sense he's a little too concerned now. "no really it's alright i've been doing it for a while now." "ok? well, you may want to park over on the side or by the mcdonald's. it gets more traffic and might be safer there." more traffic is actually a bad thing. i don't bother explaining though. "okay, well thanks. just wanted to check.i'll figure it out." he offers his hand. i shake it. "well, you take care of yourself. i mean it. take care of yourself." "i will. thank you (can i go now)." "be safe." "okay (how about now)." i make my escape. eventually.

i find something to buy to make my trip into walmart not completely fruitless. maybe some fruit? a bag of cranberries to be exact. i think they're fruit? they're pretty cheap. good snack food. maybe? never had them before. i walk around aimlessly. rolling the bag of cranberries between my palms. tossing it in the air occassionally. catching and rolling it between my hands again. i bump into the the tired looking girl once more. exchange another round of smiles. she won't stop looking at me. can't tell if she thinks i'm cute or crazy. this guy tossing cranberries in the air as he walks by? i purposely wander the store some more hoping to bump into her again. i do. her eyes stay on me as i walk by. smiling. her friend's looking at me too. talking about me and my cranberries. probably thinking i'm some cranberry stalker. this crazy guy and his cranberries. following tired looking girls around walmarts hoping to freak them out. i guess that is what i'm doing. but actually i think this girl is kind of attractive. was thinking maybe i'd ask her to join me for a mcgriddle in the morning. now that i know where a mcdonald's is.

i give up. decide to check out from the walmart and go to bed. too tired to chase tail. before i make it out the door, the wide-eyed overly-concerned effeminate guy grabs me. "he listen i know of a safe street a few blocks away if you want to try that?" "no, no i think i'll be alright here." "ok. well take this. will this help?" he shoves $5 in my hand. i suddenly feel sleazy. i'm not asking for money or pity. "no, really, it's not necessary." he closes my hand over the $5 bill. refuses to let me give it back. realizing i have no choice in the matter i say, "thank you." and continue to walk out of the store.

kill van halen!! kill van halen!!

just passed a car with no fewer than twelve van halen stickers on it. not sure if i should laugh, or cringe. must say, i'm a bit surprised by the musical tastes of new mexicans. death metal??... van halen??... it's like it's 1991 all over again. maybe i should rear end this vehicular van halen shrine with the deathcab. bring these folks back to 2005. kill van halen!! kill van halen!!

chippendales on my birthday

leave the gym as the mexican death metal concert ends. how fucking strange? get in the deathcab. start her up. start driving out of town. goodbye santa fe. i'll miss you and your death metal workouts. driving to albuquerque (which yes, is fucking difficult to spell. you try it without looking it up),nm. it's not too far. and it's already after 10pm. don't want to be driving in the middle of the nite. just before making it to albuquerque, i pass a sign that reads-

CHIPPENDALES ARE BACK
DECEMBER 29TH 7PM
THE ROUTE 66 CASINO RESORT

that's my birthday!!!

how silly?!! maybe i'll go just for the hell of it. get a free lap dance or something. or not. or become a chippendale myself and make some money?!! some people in boone,nc (huh-hum... michelle) thought i should strip my way across the country to make ends meet. maybe i'll start now?

a mexican death metal workout

nothing to do in santa fe. decide to go back to the genoveva chavez community center once more to workout and shower. then hit the road. start heading west again.

get to the community center. parking is pretty tight. lots of people here. wonder what's going on? maybe some basketball tournament or something? grab my duffle bag from my car. start walking to the front of the building. a bunch of teenagers are running around. black clothes. black make-up. black hair. the parents looking the same. what kind of community center is this? satan's? notice a loud grumbling bass sound coming from inside. peek thru a window. see a long haired evil looking dude growling into a microphone. a band thrashing guitars and pounding drums in back of him. hmm... a mexican death metal concert? here? in santa fe? at a community center? is this supposed to be some nice family event? that brings the community together? i listen for a while. can't help but laugh. just came for a workout and there's a mexican death metal concert going on. well, i'll stick with plan A - workout, shower, leave. although i guess this is as good a workout music as any?

deathcab still ain't going to church

don't know why, but the deathcab just hasn't felt like going to church much these days. not even to a spooky western style church like this. must be losing faith.

(refer to deathcab doesn't go to church)

bathroom portrait series

at the cowgirl in santa fe, nm. a bar / restaurant / pool hall. nothing much happening here either. thus me taking pictures of myself in the bathroom.

missing persons

wandering downtown again. just so happens to be the first friday of the month - art walk. all the galleries are open late. artists. receptions. free food and wine. i stop in a few places. nothing worthwhile. don't even want the free food and booze they're offering considering most everything on and off the walls is an eyesore. don't want to stick around too long. i do finally come across something of interest at a downtown coffeehouse - zele's. some 20 yr old guy having a reception. his sketches and paintings on display. nothing very good. but at least it's different than the desert indian shite i've seen everywhere. a few kids are here. all under 21 it seems though. babies. couple djs are playing. one of which i recognize (hard not to recognize someone with a mohawk) as a member of moustache anonymous (the band that opened for tender forever & calvin johnson the other nite). i introduce myself. find out his name is paul. asks me what i thought of tender forever. "she was awesome." talk a little more. then wander out onto the streets again. trying to find anyone or anything of interest.

where are all the kids my age in santa fe? must be hiding out at whole foods or in their adobes.

a shrub grows in the deathcab

go back to the university for updates. work a couple hours then head back to my car in the parking lot. start it up. pull forward out of the space...

KAPLUNK!!! KRRRR!!! oh shit! forgot about the cement parking log there! i stop for a second. should've reversed not pulled forward. oh well too late now... i continue to drive over the parking log with my rear wheels now. bottoming out the deathcab in the process... KAPLUNK!!!! KRACK!!! KRRRKKK!!!

once i've cleared the log, i get out and check underneath the car to see if anything is broken, dangling, or leaking. nothing. but there is a shrub growing from the bottom of my car. a shrub? how the hell does a shrub grow out of a car?

(then a couple days later i remember - pueblo by night).

the car seems a little more fucked up now. steering seems off. more off, i should say.

withholding a helping hand

driving around santa fe. notice this guy on fire...

he looks a little sad. maybe i should help him out? ooh, the light just turned green. gotta go.

he who barks first...

in the gym parking lot. walk over to the deathcab. throw my clothes and such in the backseat. turn around. notice a dog in the car next to me. quiet. hasn't noticed me yet. decide to take the initiative and start barking at him before he has a chance to return the favor. "grrrr.... bow-wow-wow!!" i paw at his window. foaming at my mouth. get him all riled-up. he was hopping around like a mexican jumping bean. or a chihuahua. think he wet the front seat.

me and a tree

post workout. post shower. outside the genoveva chavez community center. me and a tree. feeling so fresh and so clean. no altitude or workout sickness this time either.

the grime that is me

back at the genoveva chavez community center. spent last nite at the walmart of santa fe again. been feeling gross. all the dirt and grime from sleeping in a car without bathing for days on end. must cleanse. must cleanse. i decide to get up early. work out and shower before figuring out what else to do with my day.

starting mileage - 204778
still in - santa fe, nm

SHOUT is OUT

the new issue of SHOUT came out today - an entertainment publication based out of boone, nc. i designed the cover for this issue while in columbia, mo. got a small commission which was quite helpful. there's also a helluva'n article by mr. dan kaple about my adventures, right here - ARTICLE IN SHOUT ISSUE #3.

here's some of the images the cover developed from. shot in a truck-stop bathroom just outside of columbia, mo. taken right after a hot shower. the lens started fogging up creating some neat effects -

sippin on gin and juice... or just coffee

SIPPIN ON GIN & JUICE... OR JUST COFFEE.
conversations from the road with Jamie Carroll

an ongoing conversation between you, me, and others. kind of a Q & A forum. to ask a question just click here:

ASK JAMIE A QUESTION (or reply as you normally would by clicking on the comments link at the bottom of this post).

check back often for answers to your questions.

kind of cute but scary

back to whole foods for dinner. the best hangout in santa fe. haven't found another place with so many people my age. get another hefty salad bar mix of tofu and organic shit. eat and people watch again. catch a girl in a checkout line looking my way. probably 22 yrs old. punkish. black clothes. shaved head except for some bangs and strands of hair curled on her cheeks. kind of cute, but scary at the same time. would be super cute if she had more hair and less make-up. but right now - just "kind of cute but scary." she's the 4th person in a slow moving line. guess there are obnoxious fat old ladies holding up lines here after all (refer to future employee at whole foods). she smiles at me and rolls her eyes at the lack of progress she's making. i shove another forkful of tofu and greens in my mouth rather than smile back. then direct my attention to other passers-by thinking nothing of it.

a few minutes pass. still scarfing down my food. the "kind of cute but scary" girl walks by. right close to me. i look up noticing she's slowed her paced. gives me a huge flirty smile in passing. hmm... she's pretty cute after all. i smile back. oh i how i love thee whole foods... (to be continued)

let down by the scene

check out the design center in downtown santa fe thinking it's an art/graphics gallery. turns out to be a plaza of various shops and restaurants. got a greek salad. good stuff. most of the galleries suck here though. and there's lots of them. too much craft. not enough art. lots of paintings/sculptures of indians, cowboys, deserts, etc... "southwestern art." nothing outside that box. nothing too thought-provoking. it seems like the "art" here is primarily aimed at tourists to promote, perhaps inaccurately, southwestern culture and tradition. the college of santa fe is a big arts school so i'd hope there would be some underground art scene here that's of more substance. kind of bored with all this mall art.

questions

in downtown santa fe, nm.

what am i thinking / feeling today? should be working my way out west?? don't know? don't know that i'm really trying to end anything so soon. seems like the west coast is the end. though i know it's not. i miss melanie already. hard seeing someone you genuinely like just once. and then being surrounded by nameless strangers all over again. was just hoping... hoping... hoping what? i don't know. a girl just walked by. looks like she's crying. wonder what about?

getting ready for the holidays

in downtown santa fe, nm.

connecting the dots w/ chuck jones

happen to come across something of interest downtown - the chuck jones studio gallery. don't know if you guys remember but i love chuck jones (refer to a chuck jones' bathroom). and now i come across his gallery. though it's pretty boring as you may expect. a bunch of sketches and cels all over the walls. all ridiculously overpriced. and there's only a handful of his tom and jerry sketches - which are my favorite. all at least $400. fuck that. cool to have found the place though. and made another connection between thought and reality.

feels like i'm connecting the dots of all my thoughts and experiences thru this trip and translation of events via the blog. conscious living. being aware of yourself and the things around you. finding connections / coincidences of all the things in your life. just another example here. not necessarily the best example, but another.

deathcab doesn't go to church

more updates at the university. then explore everything downtown. find a huge fancy church. no parking available though. all under construction. pretty bland photo. forgot how boring church is without my deathcab.

no sunrise no sunset

a beautiful santa fe sunrise. vivid blues and oranges. or something close to that - color blind. wish i had a picture to show you. somehow slipped my mind. the sunsets here are magnificent too. no pictures of those either. use your imagination. or the internet.

starting mileage - 204750
still chillin like a villian in - santa fe, nm

an end to an evening

i did talk to melanie again after calvin's perfomance. i didn't bring up anything about our previous conversation. just wanted to say goodbye. she gave me a little black book to write down my contact information in. i did. i got her website and email address. and a poster for tender forever - a picture of melanie kissing herself. cool image (pictured here). asked her when she was gonna be settling down. done with touring - mid december back in olympia, wa. when she's going back to france - early january. made loose plans on meeting up again in olympia, wa. heading that way at some point anyway. might be nice to run into her again.

called it a nite. went back to my walmart on cerrillos rd in the sweet town of santa fe.

calvin johnson

just him and his guitar. performing a bunch of songs from his latest album - "before the dream faded." plus a couple classics - one beat happening song and one halo benders song. this is the first time i've actually seen him live. been a fan for years though. his songs have always been humorous, but he's hilarious. his performance is a mix of stand-up, story-telling, and songs. reminds me of a musical bill murray. looks like him too.

before calvin actually performed, i proposed the same question to him as i did to melanie (not the marriage one). guess i felt i should get both of their views. here's our dialogue...

"was talking with melanie some about this. i've been travelling across the country the last couple months..."

(mildly interested) "oh, really? where?"

(bored with the question and my answer) "well everywhere, from north carolina to as far north as manitoba, and now here..."

(half-hearted enthusiasm) "oh, wow."

(sensing this is pointless) "...but i was wondering if you guys might want a 3rd wheel? another person on the road with you?"

(confused a little) "uhhh...i don't know?"

"you know. i could do anything you needed. help you set up. photography. art..."(that's not the direction i want to go)

(getting back on course) "or if you just want some company for the road?..."

(hesitantly) "well i don't know?"

(knowing this is pointless) "well, just putting the offer out there, i guess?"

(shooing me away) "thanks, but we don't really need 'help'. we just have two guitars, and uh... but thanks for the offer."

(glad to be done with the conversation too) "okay... well good luck."

i walk away. mingle with the crowd some.


the conversation didn't go exactly as i wanted. i wasn't trying to pimp myself out artistically, or otherwise, to calvin johnson. though that's how it came off. really just wanted to see if they wanted a companion on their journies. but then i realized that's not what i wanted. i don't want to be a companion on their journies. i want to continue my journey. i don't want to follow in someone else's footsteps. would rather make my own. so the question was pointless from the very beginning. i never wanted to abandon my own path for someone else's. just took me this instance to fully realize that. in conclusion - i'm not joining any bands on tour. sorry.

tender forever

alright, i hope you're all ready. this is where things start to get a little exciting. during the next couple weeks some of the most difficult yet amazing and beautiful things occur in my life. this nite somehow marks the start of it. so, without further ado...

i proposed to a french lesbian rock star tonite. these things just happen. not just any french lesbian rock star though - tender forever aka melanie. let's start from the beginning...

i go to the SUB at the college of santa fe for the show. get there around 8:30pm. the SUB is a tiny dining/performance area primarily for the students. kind of surprised to see calvin johnson playing here? there's a small yet good crowd of maybe 30 kids. and me. and some older trashy lady. pushes her way inside without buying a ticket. says she grew up with calvin and wants to see him. "he'll remember me." of course he will, dear.

before the music starts i spot calvin wandering thru the crowd. tall. grey hair. older than i envisioned. forgot he's been doing this for decades now. not the young kid from beat happening anymore. some time goes by. i go up to the merch booth. sift thru the cds and buttons for sale. someone comes up behind me - "hello?" in a pleasant curious tone. i turn around. recognizing who it is immediately i say, "oh, hey calvin," and then continue perusing the cds. he sits by himself a few feet from the merch booth. looks a little distraught. maybe he's uncomfortable with all these strangers knowing who he is, without even being able to introduce himself. a form of rockstar psychosis?

to correct my possible mistake, i lean over and say, "i'm jamie by the way." "hey jamie, i'm calvin." "hey, calvin. nice to meet you." "you too."

normal introduction taken care of. let's continue.

the opening act eventually goes on. a band called moustache anonymous. some of the local college of santa fe kids. sounds like a teenage dub narcotic sound system cover band. not bad. not exactly good. their look is better than their sound - mohawks and fake glasses w/ big noses and moustaches. i take a seat at the back of the room as they perform. notice calvin seated over at the merch booth. the old trashy lady who "knows him" is now sitting to his right. talking his ear off. calvin looks painfully uninterested in whatever it is she's saying. keeps looking away while she talks. a suggested rolling of the eyes. he looks over in my direction repeatedly as if he's asking me to save him from her. i think about getting up and interrupting her conversation, but decide i'm sufficiently entertained. no need to get involved.

after moustache anonymous, the girl known as tender forever sets up her equipment - a microphone, a tiny casio keyboard, and a cd player hooked up to a bunch of wires. when she's all ready she introduces herself (with a noticable french accent) as melanie. aka tender forever. tells us she's from france. weary from the road and touring. same here. but excited to be here and hoping we all dance and have fun. same here.

so she performs... imagine singing your favorite pop songs as if you're alone in your bedroom. hopping and dancing around with the freedom of no one watching you. that's tender forever. running around in the audience. taking off people's clothes and putting them on herself. telling goofy stories in between. singing. dancing. mayhem. fun. and all this with an amazing french voice... unnghh!! my heart!!

needless to say, i'm hooked after two songs. i find a scrap piece of paper and write

"WILL YOU MARRY ME? CIRCLE YES NO or MAYBE."

i put the note in my shirt pocket and continue to dance. waiting for the opportune moment to give it to her. next time she hops my way i'll just slide it on the floor to her. then i start listening to the actual lyrics of her songs. hmmm??... lots of mentioning of girlfriends... and taking each other's shirts off... and making out... maybe i should just hang on to this little note here?

so i do. just listen to her songs and dance along. she stage dives at one point (though there's no actual stage). we lift her in the air and move her across the room. then back down again to play a few more songs. good times. good times.

when she finishes. i go up to thank and congratulate her. the next thing i know, i'm taking the note out of my pocket. with a big smile on my face i say, "i was going to give this to you earlier while you were performing, but after listening to a few of those songs i didn't think it would be quite relevant."

she reads the note. laughs. gives me a half hug and asks, (remember, french accent) "what is your name?" "jamie." "thank you jamie. i'm melanie. i'll keep this..." we talk a little. but there's a line forming of other people who want a piece of her. mostly girls. before being forced away i ask, "hey do you and calvin want a 3rd wheel?" "a what?" "a 3rd wheel. you know someone else to go with you on tour. i'm just travelling myself and..." "yeah, that would be cool. we have plenty of room in the van. i mean it's boring. we're just going to california next and then home but yes, yes..."

the girls overtake melanie and i'm squeezed out like the scraggily-bearded deathcabbie turd i am.



i purchased TENDER FOREVER-THE SOFT AND THE HARDCORE CD a couple days later. found this song to be oddly fitting.
TENDER FOREVER - "MARRY ME"

future employee of whole foods

after the workout, i head over to whole foods (a natural grocery store) for dinner. get some food from the salad bar. mostly a mix of tofu, artichoke hearts, peas, eggs, and feta. mmm... good. a little pricy though. $6.99 a pound. and tofu and artichoke hearts are pretty hefty items in the salad bar world. $$$.

i sit down at a booth at the front of the store. people watch as i eat. look at everyone come and go. not staring at anyone's parts though. well yes, maybe some. notice a good mix of people my age tend to shop at this whole foods - hippies (of course), punks, college kids... but also older people. lots of moms and pops. and people who look fit, happy, and healthy. everyone seems to have a smile on their face. working and shopping well together. no obnoxious fat old ladies holding up the line. or blocking your way to your favorite cereal.

one guy in particular sparks my interest. an employee. male. mexican. ponytail. silly moustache. keeps singing 80's songs to himself while he works - "hungry like the wolf" and others i can't remember. makes me laugh. start daydreaming -

could that be me one day? a happy employee of whole foods? who sings duran duran songs while restocking the carob raisin bin or giving out cheese samples?

yes, it could.

i do have some actual experience and knowledge in the grocery world. worked as a bagboy for a day at an ingles in asheville, nc., and... i happen to know the difference between tofu and tempeh. you'd be surprised how many people don't know the difference. surprised, i tell you!

gym guys

after computering, i go to the genoveva chavez community center for a workout and more importantly, a shower. this place is sick as far as rec centers go. state of the art building and equipment. and just freakin huge. also interesting artsy decour. a bunch of these strange muscly figures suspended in air from the ceiling. pretty cool. don't see art in most gyms. just sweaty guys and girls lifting weights or treadmilling it.

i get about half of my pre-roadtrip work-out in before feeling like absolute shit. out of breath. cold sweat. nausea. can't tell i'm really out of shape or if it's a form of altitude sickness. probably both.

after lying down and resting a few minutes on the cold gym floor, i get up and walk back to the men's locker room to shower. a few older guys are in there. couple teenagers too. all buck naked. take my clothes off and hop in the shower. thinking how weird all this is. a bunch of dudes showering. walking around naked. talking and dangling. feels like high school gym class all over again. yet it doesn't feel weird or uncomfortable at all like it did then. maybe it was just puberty and immature kids and penises. bad mix. feels very normal now. just some naked guys bathing it up and shooting the shit. still sounds a little weird in my head i guess. especially when i phrase it that way. but no, the nudity ain't bothering anyone. guess if someone was blatantly staring at someone else's parts there might be some feelings of discomfort. but no one's staring today. just talking and dangling.

the events for the evening

go to the college of santa fe first thing in the morning. no student ID required for the computer lab in the library. hurray!! do some updates and check for any upcoming events in the area. maybe some music or art show? find out calvin johnson (k records, beat happening, dub narcotic soundsystem, halo benders, etc...) and tender forever (who i am unfamiliar with) are playing tonite! at the student union building (aka SUB) here on campus for a whopping $5. hurray!! again. i'm there.

santa fe, nm

being in santa fe, nm is almost like being in another country. not surprisingly, mexico. mountains and desert. mexican / southwestern art and tradition. it's pretty much the crossroads of texas and mexico. so just about everyone speaks spanish and/or wears a cowboy hat & boots it seems. tons of tex-mex restaurants too. there's all these old clay houses and buildings that look like the ones in westerns. it's really amazing. though the walmart looks just like every other fucking walmart.

managed to figure out that most everything of importance to me is on 2 main roads - cerrillos rd and st. michael's dr. the walmart. the college of santa fe. the whole foods grocery store. the downtown strip. and just a couple minutes away is a recreation center for showers and workouts. hurray!! i could stay here forever.

not so chilly after all

no problems w/ any bad guys last nite. and the temperature has started to rise. no frozen eye-wear this morning. and my pee has returned to liquid state.

starting mileage - 204731
exploring - santa fe, nm

a chill in santa fe

make it to santa fe, nm pretty late. was told it was about 2 hrs from the colorado border by a mexican?? guy at a gas station in trinidad, co. turned out to be 3.5 hrs. think the guy was fucking with me. though i'm not sure why? whatever, i'm here. it's not much warmer than colorado though. much to my dismay. there's actually ice and snow on the ground. thought heading south would lead to warmer climates. forgot to consider that santa fe is still up in the mountains. i'm actually at a higher altitude here than denver. it is a little warmer here though.

anyway. i check out the downtown area. stop in a bar called willie's on guadalupe st. pretty chill. a blues bar. band is playing some good (presumably cover) songs. people are shakin their booties on the dance floor. couple problems though. everyone here is at least 35yrs old and on the prowl. and smoking like chimnies. i chug my miller lite in a record 2.9 seconds before darting outside to the fresher air of downtown santa fe.

check out a couple more spots. then find a walmart, on cerrillos rd, to crash at for the nite. pretty scary lookin. it's late. i'm in a new town. new culture. everyone looks weird to and at me. a little frightening. there's a security vehicle with flashing lights patrolling the lot. hopefully, it'll keep the bad guys away. i park in the middle of some RVs and broken down cars. set up camp for the nite. lie down in the back. cover myself up. fall asleep to the flashing lights of the security patrol.

las vegas

that's right. sin city. right here. bright lights big city. wait?? this is las vegas? where's all the casinos? and strippers? and neon-lights? well, there's some christmas lights... but where's everything else and all the shitty tom jones-esque lounge acts?

explanation - this is las vegas, new mexico. not las vegas, nevada. nothing in this town. except a couple gas stations and some scary motels.

i don't brake for mommies

heading to santa fe, nm. pass a caution sign on the side of the road just as i cross the new mexico border - "SLOW DOWN MY MOM WORKS HERE!" - i still have no clue what that means. but, i don't brake for mommies.

i did brake quite a bit on the raton pass though. not for mommies but for the winds. the sick sick winds. my car kept wanting to veer off the road. or into other vehicles. kept both hands on the wheel and drove reasonably slow. glad it wasn't snowing.

don't fall in love unless you want to get hurt

back to wooglin's again before splitting town. say my goodbyes. brook and johnny are the only ones working today though. no andres to make me laugh my ass off one last time. that's okay though. start talking with brook and johnny. mention my contacts freezing this morning and how i think i should head south. johnny gives me some advice on which areas to drive carefully thru in case of bad weather - raton's pass on the way to new mexico - very windy and dangerous. says goodbye one last time as he's getting off his shift and going home.

so, brook and i are left alone. start talking about her parents, her upbringing, past relationships, and why she moved to colorado springs of all places?? though fayette-nam is no better. we talk life and love mostly.

from what she tells me, i get the sense she's afraid of getting too close to people. afraid of relationships. of love. whatever it may be. doesn't want to get hurt.

THE HARTMANS - THE FIRST THING I WAS TAUGHT WHEN I WAS YOUNG (DON'T FALL IN LOVE UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET HURT)

but how can you truly love, and be loved, if you don't allow yourself to be hurt? to be open and vulnerable? can you really share yourself with anyone?

for that very reason our conversation only went so far. she didn't want to reveal too much though i sensed there was a lot more to be said. we just scratched the surface of something much larger.

a carcinogenic sunrise

leaving wally world. notice these plumes of smoke coming from a factory down the road. pollution blocking out the sun. a carcinogenic sunrise. maybe this has something to do with the cold cold weather this morning. no sun to shine down and melt my pee.

reasons to leave

ice chunks in my pee jug and frozen contacts. time to get out of colorado.

leaving - colorado springs, co
starting mileage - 204343
destination - anywhere warmer than here

still nothing much to say

didn't do much after wooglin's. went back to poor richard's for some din-din. then to walmart for sleep. gettin chilly here...

the wet hot american summer connection

another wooglin's employee is working in back. a cook or dishwasher. comes out from time to time. looks disgruntled. with long messy hair held back in a bandana. a scraggly beard. and dirty work clothes. reminds me of gene, the chef, from wet hot american summer (one of my favorite movies). i mention the movie to andres. ask if he's seen it. he immediately starts quoting lines - "dick cream...", "i'm gonna go smear mud on my ass...", and such.

been noticing how this movie is a connecting point between me and a lot of people. scott, jessica, and i used to quote it all the time in boone, nc. kyle (from columbia, mo) and i did the same. and now me and andres.

this disgruntled employee's name though is johnny. he pulls up a chair and we start talking. super-friendly guy. find out he is quiting wooglin's in january and moving to denver with his lady. ready to quit the j-o-b and split town. explain i'm ready to split colorado springs myself. either head south to santa fe, nm or back up to boulder, co to meet up with mary from exhibitrek again. got a very complimentary email from her today inviting me to dinner if i was still in the area. might go back and take her up on her offer.

back to johnny. more specifically johnny's dad. a fill-in weatherman for a local news station, as well as the host of MATCH WITS - a public access TV quiz show for kids. andres was on the show as a child. the only contestant to date to have sported a mohawk while on the show. i laughed my ass off again when he told me that.

wooglin's crew

wandering downtown after some coffee and updates. find the leechpit - a pretty cool vintage music/clothing store. the guy working seems pretty cool. recommends a few places i should check out. one of which is wooglin's - a bar / coffeehouse / deli. wind up spending my entire afternoon there talking with brook, hillary, andres, and johnny. all the employees. really cool people. best i've come across in colorado springs. here's a synopsis...

get there - i order a locally brewed oatmeal stout. good shit. sit down at the bar next to hillary. a newly-turned 20yr old girl. i think? black hair. black mascara. cute though not scary. a touch more black and she'd be scary. notice her right away. when i sit down i have the feeling she's trying not to look at me. take out a book - franz kafka's - "the trial" (pretty dull so far. but it's referred to a number of times in some other books i've read. albert camus' - "the myth of sisyphus" for example). start reading or pretend to. just looking at the words on the page really. notice hillary's ordered a sandwich. a sandwich, she's made a point of showing, all in sight, is falling apart. the bread crumbling to bits. she's not really complaining about it as much as she's excusing herself for any possible mess that may occur during the eating process. i make a comment about how she can wet the bread and ball it all up together. "then it'd be good as new (sort of)." she pretty much ignores my comment. rightfully so.

i get up to get some water. leaving my book on the counter of the bar. walk over to the soda fountain. fill my glass. turn back around to reclaim my seat. notice hillary is peeking over at the binding of my book to see what it is i am reading. spots me spot her. she quickly returns her gaze to her sandwich. i sit down next to her again. resume sipping my beer. neither of us mention the book. or anything. a momentary return to silence.

i pick up "the trial". resume looking at words. glance over at her from time to time. notice she has unique dimples set high in her cheeks. kind of like eye dimples. when she smiles they come out, or go in, as dimples tend to do. more interested in her and her dimples than my book.

andres and brook are working behind the counter this whole time. seeing what has and has not transpired. eventually decide to join in. andres mentions "the trial" is a really good book, and movie as well. i nod. haven't got far enough into the book to truly disagree, and i'm unfamiliar with the movie. brook takes a break from working. lunchtime. joins hillary and i on the customer-side of the bar. sits to hillary's right. i'm seated to her left. a hillary sandwich.

someone asks where i'm from. i answer "north carolina. just passing thru. been travelling the last couple months...blah blah blah..." hearing this, brook leans back on her barstool. gets my attention. i lean back to meet her. tells me she is from north carolina too - fayettenam (aka fayetteville) to be precise. we start talking, in back of hillary, as she continues to eat / clean-up her sandwich mess.

time flies by. andres and hillary start picking on each other in a friendly manner. about music tastes... clothes... ethnicities... the norm. "what's the first three words of the mexican national anthem?" andres asks. "attention k-mart shoppers..." hillary, being part-mexican, retorts "you just think you're better than me because you're chilean and not mexican." andres responds "you're right." "what do bricks and fat women have in common?" "they've both been laid by mexicans." hillary sighs in frustration. i laugh my ass off.

nothing to say

not a whole lot to talk about this morning. slept at the walmart again. haven't froze to death yet. getting close though.

starting mileage - 204299
exploring - colorado springs, co

turning down an offer

go to jack quinn's after dinner. another irish pub recommended by a couple people last time i was in town. get a guiness. just one (i'm not a drunk yet mom). about 6 people are there. not exactly party nite. but there's football on tv. so, i sit at the bar. watch the game. jets vs. somebody. start talking to the guy next to me. is wearing a jets hat. his name - tim. just moved here three weeks ago from new jersey. thus explaining the jets hat. joined the army reserve and is stationed here. much to his pleasing. was his first choice. colorado springs is actually a pretty big army town.

we talk while watching the game. chat with dennis, the bartender, too. good stuff.

turns out sunday night is karaoke night at jack quinn's though. possibly one of the reasons for the small crowd. some big-busted asian lady wearing a flowery hawaiian-ish dress gets on stage and belts out berlin's - "take my breath away."

i think i sang it better.

very weird juxtaposition though. football...beer...irish pub... karaoke?... asian lady singing "take my breath away"?... didn't stop there. next guy did a cover of chris isaak's - "wicked game." strangeness. tried to ignore the ear / eye-soring performance and watch the game. talk to tim and dennis some more.

stick around til the jets lose. say goodbye. tim offers to let me crash at his house and shower. but, a first, i decline the offer. without even blinking. think even though i live in a car, it's the closest thing i have to a home. feel most comfortable in the deathcab. thank him for the offer anyway. tell him if i stick around i'll be sure to see him again. cool guy.

head to walmart for the nite.

horse lover

since i'm not actually superman and know nothing of the horse deaths, i sit on my ass and do nothing. wait for my food. people watch...

a girl walks in with a couple guys. college kids. learn from their conversation that they're art students at colorado college. could probably teach them a thing or two. the girl has some messy but cool hair going on. freckles. a slightly boyish yet cute look to her. notice the front of her shirt. drawn in magic marker is a horse's face and the words - HORSE LOVER. weird coincidence? think about telling her how much i like her shirt and then pointing out the horse article on the bulletin board. i manage to refrain myself. figure it might make her sunny day a little less so. remain quiet and eat my food. listen to their conversations some more. she walks by again to get her food now. notice drawn on the back of her shirt is the horse's rear. i giggle. then her and her friend engage in a small dance at the register for no reason. she sticks her butt out. shakes it. doing the same for the horse in the process. i giggle more. never knew a horse's ass could be so amusing. and strangely attractive.

a job posting

back in colorado springs. dinner at poor richard's again. pretty chill place. i like it. read some clippings posted on a bulletin board in the restaurant before my food comes. one of them reads - "if you know anything about horse deaths call (blah blah blah...)"

hmm...?? horse deaths?? wonder if there's some guy going around killing people's horses? what evil villain would do such a thing? this sounds like a job for... SUPERMAN!!

turning into superman

decide to take off the glasses. leave clark kent behind before arriving in colorado springs. might need to save the world, or something? can't be doing that with glasses on.

back into denver

leaving boulder

on the road again...

heading south. wondering if i should clean off the spit from my side-view mirror before it freezes.

a bit misguided

after a few more hours contemplating things - the boredom... the cold cold weather... i decide to leave boulder, co. but not before a misguided attempt at spitting out my car window.

still no nude snow angels for you

spent the nite in front of the sexy mailbox again. every night in boulder thus far. was supposed to snow last nite and this morning. nothing. you'd think having been all over north and south dakota, and colorado, i'd have seen some snow by now. nope. still no nude snow angels for you. one day, one day... (check these for reference - snowballs, sweet baby james, no nude snow angels for you) there's supposedly blizzards all over colorado except here and south thru colorado springs. might be heading that way to avoid getting trapped on this mountain.

starting mileage - 204150
thinking of leaving - boulder, co