relieving some tension

the brakes eventually release. drivin on... manage to get to a gas station a few blocks away. the brakes lock again. wait... twiddle thumbs... they release. keep on keepin on... manage to get about a mile. stuck on the side of the road in front of a closed hardware store. figures. i don't want your fucking tools anyway! wait again... twiddle again... they don't release. see a target store a half mile, or so, up the road. can't go by car; going by foot. get out. start walking. oddly, not concerned about the outcome of all of this, at this point. probably too tired. get to the target and head straight to 1. the bathroom - car problems wreaking havok on my insides 2. the tool aisle - i'm getting something that's gonna fuckin do something this time. ooohh!! look at this... a whole set of wrenches for $10. glad i already wasting $18 on a pair of useless wrenches already.

buy my set of wrenches. talk to a manager to see if it's alright if i park and sleep there the night. tell him about my brake problems. he calls up some peeps who call up some other peeps. get's back to me - "yeah, it's cool." leave target. walk back to the car. get in. brakes still tight, but not completely locked. well, the target isn't too far away; i'll try to drive there. brakes completely lock up half way there. i'm stuck in the middle of the road. no shoulder this time. middle of the road. no one's coming though. for now. pop the hood. mess with a couple wrenches. find the size that fits the brake lines - 10mm. who knows if it's gonna do any good though? there's 6 different brake lines to choose from. which wire diffuses the deathcab bomb? which wire?... blue? green? yellow? no, no the red. the red one... no, not the red one... the green one...no!! kablooey!!

i guess i picked correctly. the car didn't explode, or implode either (to my surprise). a little fluid squirted out of the brake line and it seemed to relieve the pressure. got in the car and tested the brake pedal. back to normal. re-tightened the brake line and drove the last few blocks to the target parking lot without further incident. called it a nite.

on second thought

god, no! what am i doing? that mechanic had to be a fucking moron! cutting a brake line?... that's just gonna create more problems. i'll wait for the brakes to release on their own...

i put the knife away, close the hood, and sit back in the car. proceed to twiddle my thumbs.

a half hour goes by. no change.

i get out of the car. peek underneath. hmm... maybe i can try something else? i lay on the ground in front of the passenger-side wheel investigating the underbelly of the deathcab. maybe if i pull on this or bang on that, something will happen? nope. a thought crosses my mind - a car comes from behind smashing into the deathcab; pushing it forward and running me over at the neck in the process. i quickly get up and sit back in the car. continue to twiddle my thumbs...

breaking brake lines

open my dashboard - dig around and find my pocket knife which has a saw blade on it. grab my flashlight from the backseat floor. swing the deathcab door open. alright let's do this shit! (imagine in slow-motion while wearing 3-d glasses; that's how i see things for the most part anyway) i step out of the deathcab. my heel touches the asphalt. my movements are lit by the yellow orange flashes of my hazards. i walk to the front of the vehicle. unlatch and lift the hood. the skull emblem raises up and out of view. my head beneath. my breath is visable in the cold night air. flashlight illuminating brake lines attached to a central hub. pocket knife in hand; opened to saw blade. i rest the saw to a brake line. take a deep breath. start to move the blade back and forth...

a voice from the past

could call AAA... get towed somewhere... that's gonna take an hour for them to get here. by then the brakes will likely have released. but i can't go more than a mile without having to pull over. i'll just sit here and twiddle my thumbs. something will come to me; or not. why i can't i just sleep here on the side of the road? guess i could?...

start to recall my conversation with the mechanic at the BP station in grand forks, nd before i left for canada- "if the brakes lock up again, you could try breaking off one of the brake lines from the master cylinder..."

night light

the sun is down. night is here. fuck it, i'm too tired to think of what to do other than just go. get on hwy 10E. make it about 2 miles. the brakes lock again. try driving thru it but no luck. forced to pull over and put my hazards on. so, sitting in my car, on the side of the road. middle of the nite in moorhead city, mn; or east fargo rather. pitch black out. myself, the road, the sky - illuminated only by the light of my flashing hazards and an occasional passing car. haven't made it as far as i was hoping today...

decisions, decisions

the brakes finally return to normal after waiting over an hour. i drive up the road to a hornbacher's grocery store; obviously concerned that i can't make it any further with the car. can feel the brakes tightening up even after driving just a couple blocks now. ask a clerk inside about possibly parking there for the nite. i'll move it elsewhere in the morning as it's already getting dark. he says to definitely not park there. cops always come around harassing anyone and everyone. tells me to try some residential areas up the road. go back to my car, eat a banana, and think about my options for a while. a long while.

maybe i'll just drive sparingly thru moorhead the next couple days and get the car looked at monday. that would be the safest thing to do probably. maybe i'll be stuck here a while and i should get a job at the truck stop i've been staying at in fargo? they're hiring like 6 different positions. or maybe i should fly to denver like i was thinking when i was stuck at the canadian border? or maybe i'll buy a different used car from the lot down the road? or maybe i'll...

...i'm so tired... so delirious... what should i do? what do i want to do? i just want to curl up and go to bed right now...

braking at grand junction

heading east out of fargo. gonna try for minneapolis and wisconsin again. as expected, i didn't get very far. moorhead city, mn. you might as well call it east fargo. the brakes locked again; to no one's surprise. walk to another hardware store while the brakes cool; or whatever it is my brakes do. get another wrench. try the 3/8 inch this time. maybe i should get another size too? i wish they just had a cheap set - but no! you have to buy them individually for $6 a pop. well, hopefully it's the right size...

get back to the car. brakes still locked. the wrench is, of course, the wrong size. the hardware store closed 5 minutes ago. ain't gettin anymore tools today; not that i would pick up the right ones anyway. i'm parked right in front of the grand junction sub shop. guess i'll get some lunch and wait...

ndsu goodbye

drove back to ndsu one last time to check email and bills, and say goodbye. been here a lot over this last week. this sculpture is just outside the library. i'm pretty bad about reading names and titles of artwork, so i don't know who did it, but it looks damn cool. to me at least.

greene with diarrhea

drove around town some; no brake problems. decide to head back to the truck stop and take one last shower. wash away my hangover. and do my laundry since i don't know when i'll have the opportunity again. shit, shower, and not-shave. mmm... feel much better. wash my clothes and throw them in the dryer. says it takes 45 minutes. it'll give me some time to read and relax. about 43 minutes go by. i walk back to the laundry room. my clothes are still soaking wet. fucking dryer. gonna take a year at this rate. then i notice the dryer next to mine is running. but it's empty?? then i look back at my dryer. hmm... not even warm. then i look back at the spinning empty dryer again... tic-toc tic-toc... oh!! fuck me!! i put my money in the wrong dryer. i guess i'll read for another 45 minutes; or maybe battlestar galactica is on in the tv lounge again? nope. it's bonanza. though oddly enough, lorne greene is in both shows. hmm...??? maybe this truck stop only gets the lorne greene channel. i haven't seen anything on the tv here without him in it. i think i saw him in a beer commercial just a second ago. creepy!! all lorne greene - all the time. i can't really describe what i'm feeling right now?

i think it's a mix of diarrhea and constipation?

yes, that's it!! damn you lorne greene!! i blame you and not my excessive drinking!!

learn your A B Z's

before leaving the great northern parking lot, i wrote a thank-you-note on the back of one of my postcards and slide it in the door to empire. it read as follows:

to heather (the bartender), frania, and avery,

thanx for contributing to me getting dru-hunk!! on my last nite in fargo. glad to have met you. when he's old enough, frania,you should buy avery - uncle shelby's ABZ book by shel siverstein. it will change his life forever; or at least be a good laugh. OFF TO WISCONSIN!!

much love, jamie

david (my old workwife from boone) introduced me to the book. here's what avery (that lucky kid) is in store for:

B is for baby
See the baby
The baby is fat
The baby is pink
The baby can cry
The baby can laugh
See the baby play
Play, baby, play.
Pretty, pretty, baby.
Mommy loves the baby more than she loves you.

Z is for zoo
Let's go to the zoo
See all the animals!
The animals are locked inside the cages.
Poor animals!
Who will let them out???
See the elephant in the zoo. Give the nice elephant some peanut shells with pepper inside. That will be a good joke on him. Ha. Ha. Ha Ha. The elephant is mad but don't worry -- By tomorrow the elephant will have forgotten all about it.
Poor hippopotamus. The hippopatumus has a bone stuck in his throat and can't get it out. Poor hippopotamus. The hippopotamus has no fingers like you do. Poor hippopotamus. Say, maybe he is not a real hippopotamus after all. Maybe he is really a royal prince that has been turned into a hippopotamus by a wicked witch and when some person takes the bone out of his throat the spell will be broken and he will turn back into a prince again and give whoever did it a million dollars in gold and a horse and a castle.
See the hippopotamus in the zoo
Whew!

why you try to steal my baby's mommy

as you can imagine, i don't remember much else from last nite. don't know what happened to those 2 drinks i had in my hands - though it's probably safe to say, I drank them. don't know if i stuck around and continued to make an ass of myself - though it's probably safe to say, I did. i have no answers. but i did want to clarify a few things for anyone who may think i'm just some sleazy drunk (which i may very well be) who hits on already-hitched girls with babies.

and yes, i was drunk and sometimes i am a drunk; so, we're just dealing with the sleaze factor here...

ok - when frania refused her drink and said she had a 6 month old that she had to go home to - why didn't i take that as "not interested. leave me alone." ?

well, was there a reason to?

she didn't follow her statement by flipping me a bird, or telling me to "fuck off!! douche bag!!" plus i like kids (especially my niece). and there was something in the way she said it that kind of struck me. it was something that needed to be said. i started thinking she's probably said it a million times to a million different guys and she's used to them just bolting for the door. not me. after she turned down the drink and told me about her son, i think i just smiled and said... "ok," understanding her situation. i drunkenly day-dreamed of going back to her place; sitting down at a small table in her kitchen under a dimly lit bulb; having a quiet, light-hearted conversation while sipping warm tea from a couple of mugs. avery sitting on her lap. we're exchanging googly faces at one another.

yeah, that was it. pretty wholesome. i'm sure part of me wanted something else - my lower part. but geeze, i ain't really as bad as i seem or may make myself out to be.

so, i followed her to the bar to talk some more. i was intrigued. i asked about her son and if she was "still with the guy?" more as clarification on her parental status, rather than marital. my problem is i have NO TACT. none, whatsoever!! and GOD-AWFUL TIMING. and i'm BLOODY FUCKING HONEST TO A FAULT. mix that all together and people don't know what to make of you.

one of the last things i do remember asking frania, after realizing that i must be coming off like a sleazy drunk, was - "you know i hope you're not offended or anything?" to which she replied, "no. not at all."

so there!!! i'm not so bad. am i?

second verse slightly different than the first

the sound of a passing train wakes me-

god, i have to piss! shit where am i? ughh... the car. great northern parking lot. right, right, i remember. 9am. fuck i have to piss again!! where's that water jug? there it is. remember to take off the lid. good. okay, unzip. uhh..aaaaaahhhhhh!!!! okay, i'll just dump it out the window again... splash!! splash!! spliggity-splash!!

hmm??... forgot to roll the window down...

i attempt to pass out again in my freshly-urinated car; to no avail.

leaving - fargo
starting mileage - 200937
destination - back to minneapolis/wisconsin or south towards denver - i'll figure it out later

a splash and a goodnite

the sound of a passing train wakes me -

god, i have to piss! shit where am i? ughh... the car. great northern parking lot. shit, i'm like 10 feet away from those fucking train tracks. uhh... fuck i have to piss!! what time is it? like 6am? shit. nothing's open. oh i've got a water jug i could piss in. okay, there it is. be sure to take off the lid now. okay, unzip. uhh..aaaaaahhhhhh!!!! well, shit. now what am i going to do with this jug of piss? oohh.. i'll just roll down the window and dump it out... splash!!

i pass out again.

good one jamie, good one

most of you can guess how the rest of the night turned out. drunken jamie intentionally, or unintentionally, hits on girl - in this case, a quite attractive, yet completely sober girl who has yet to say more than 10 words to me in our brief existence together. regardless, here's the story in all of its glory or lack thereof -

i had noticed earlier, everytime luke ordered himself a drink, he always bought the server a drink as well. believing luke to be a charming lady's man, though i have no real proof of this - i decide to follow suit. go back to empire and buy myself and the bartender a shot of some fruity shit that she picks out. then the same for myself and frania - though she's too busy to be aware of my purchase. i walk over as she's finishing with her table, and greet her with our drinks - one in each hand...

would you like one? (politely) no thanks. (politely back / turning my head like a confused puppy) are you sure? (nodding) yes, i've got a 6 month old i have to go home to after this.

so, you would think that would be the end of it, right? i get the hint, leave her alone, and go home... err to the car? but you remember we're talking about me here. so, of course, i follow her back to the bar, still carrying our drinks...

(genuinely interested) son or daughter? son. what's his name? avery.

(long pause)

(still genuinely interested) you still with the guy? (matter of factly) yes.

shit! why did i ask that? of course, i know why i asked that; but why did i ask that?

there's nothing wrong with two grown men hugging

at luke's new bar now. this place is a little more upscale. lots of wine. girls all made up; glittery in fancy dresses. fratty exec-type guys in suits and button-up shirts. it's cool though. we have a couple drinks then head to yet another bar (or another room of the same bar). a rave / dance party is going on. sweaty cramped kids, djs, loud rap music, spinning disco lights... we lost chris somewhere in there; probably to a lady. no point in going back. we're properly toasted at this point, so luke calls us a cab. we don't wait for it though. we just leave and start walking back towards empire. luke's place is along the way and he decides to call it a night. his dad is in town and staying with him - the parents are going thru el divorco. luke's been sleeping on the couch while his dad takes over the rest of his apartment. otherwise he says i could crash there again. i understand. so, i wish him a good night and give him a huge, unbalanced, drunken, sloppy hug - nearly ripping his head off.

goodbye luke! goodbye fargo! shit where did i park the car? oh right at the great northern lot... right across the street from empire... where frania works... frania...

a pat goodnight

as me and the boys are making our way out, i head over to frania. she's setting drinks down at a table. i come up from behind and rest my right hand on her back. she turns around and looks at me a little surprised. my other hand is held out with the now crumpled note awaiting her attention. "this is for you," i say. she lifts the note from my palm, smiles, and says "thank you." i smile back, pat her on the stomach, and wish her a good nite.

i still feel odd about it - patting her stomach. something about it makes me feel uneasy and sleazy. too personal a touch for not knowing each other. note to self - leave hands off stomachs; aim higher or lower in the future.

a note before leaving

so the three of us chat for a while; then decide to head to luke's new bar (the name of which i do not recall). after just 2 days he already got another bartending gig. fast worker. before we leave though i decide to write a little note to frania. why not?

hey frania, i'm just in town a couple days. give me a call if you want to hang out before i leave - tonite or tomorrow...828-335-blahblah... later, jamie (non-fargonian)

a few minutes later, after realizing how many drinks i've consumed, i add - p.s. at this point, it would probably be best to call tomorrow...

don't know what you got till it's gone

luke shows up with his friend, chris - they've known each other since they were 3 or 4 yrs old - best of buds. chris is cool; real down to earth. born and raised in fargo but moved away for a while. back now working for his father at least for a couple months. said he had to move away in order to realize just how much he actually missed it here. "the thing about fargo is all the people here are real; for the most part. which is really nice."

i'm definitely realizing how much i miss my friends and family back in north carolina...

the great northern disappearing act

luke calls. says he'll meet me over at empire within the hour; but first explains why great northern's doors are locked. no, there isn't a private party. apparently, as of two days ago, the great northern restaurant and brewery is... no longer. luke went in for his shift wednesday nite, and the place was shut down. apparently, there's unpaid electric bills totalling $25,000. so, the place was, and is, closed for good. all the employees were at least able to celebrate their job losses by getting shit-faced off the remaining company beer and alcohol. though they did have to dump about $80,000 worth of the company's home-brewed beer. wow!! whatever thoughts i may have had of sticking around to see wolf parade in fargo at the great northern brewery on oct. 12 are... poof! gone. i did get to see one of fargo's main staples and only brewery before it was shut down though... to no one else's condolences.

back to the matter at hand

i decide to finally introduce myself to the "nice looking" waitress / jagermeister goddess, after she passes me a good 30 times without saying a word. actually, let me correct that - at one point she did say, "oops!" and flash me a devilish smile. she had come up next to me at the bar to fill a drink order; and a straw, in one of the drinks on her tray, touched the tip of her breast. at least, i think that's what happened? and why she said "oops!" and smiled at me? i saw the incident out of the corner of my eye; surprisingly enough i wasn't just staring directly at her breasts the whole time. so i'm not a 100% sure this is how, or why, the "oops!" and subsequent smile originated. regardless, i eventually ask what her name is. i didn't hear the answer clearly the first 4 times. loud bar noise. but finally gather her name is frania (the spelling of which is probably wrong). i extend my hand and introduce myself (repeatedly) as well. i follow my introduction with a long, slightly awkward silence (of which i'm an unfortunate expert at) to which she replies by briskly walking away to her lucky customer.

off on a tangent

which brings me to another point -

there's been a long standing debate (that i started), within my circle of friends, as to the correct definition of - choad.

early, one winter morning; many moons ago - while standing around a bonfire outside of jill's house in sugar grove,nc - i first heard choad. her neighbor, a big jock-type guy (who i think? was relatively cool) used choad in a story. i was unfamiliar with choad; so i asked what choad meant to him. he replied - imagine a guy whose dick is somewhat wider than it is taller; kind of like a beer can. over the years, i grew accustomed to this choad; until my friends thought i was using choad improperly. my friends' choad is also their taint (the definition of which we all agree on). so which is it? beer-can-penis, or taint? well, ladies and gentleman... after all these years... i was right!!

and i guess you were too.

CHOAD (as defined by urbandictionary.com)

(1) A penis, usually wider than long.
(2) The perineal area. See taint or grundle.
(3) Pubic hair. This definition seems to originate from New Jersey.

(1) Whoa! He's hung like a beer can! What a choad!
(2) Lick my choad.
(3) Eat my choad.

my heart warms; my loins...

by now you may have realized that i have quite an affinity for jagermeister. it's true. coincidentally, the "nice looking" waitress - who in fact is the hottest girl in all of fargo; according to me, and i'm the expert - is wearing a jagermeister tank top. imagine this girl (random picture from the internet), but different. and much hotter. and without the tie-dyed polka choad hanging on her. mmm... sigh... i'm in love...

poor poor miller lite

alright! sitting at a bar in fargo, once again. drinking a miller lite. cost me $2.50. half way thru my beer i find out that for one... yes, one dollar more - i could have gotten a jagermeister drink. i look at that bottle of miller lite and shake my head; saddened by having wasted my money on this expensive, tasteless beverage. i, of course, finish it. and then order me a dr. jager. sipping commences as i wait for luke to call...

metal rulz, man!!

sitting at the bar in empire now. lots of odd characters in here. a few frat boys, a couple asian ladies with huge (likely plastic) boobs, some funny-haired pierced kids, a nice looking waitress, and some guy who looks like chong. chong is standing beside me at the bar with the 2 asian ladies who suffer (or benefit) from elephantitis of the knockers. chong orders a drink. says something about how the bartender, heather, is one of the coolest people he knows. she returns the compliment and says chong is one of the nicest people she knows. then chong turns to me and professes his love for metal music.

locked gates of the great northern

no brake problems the rest of the day. continuing with plan a - go to great northern; hang out with luke; split in the morning. one problem... for some reason the doors to great northern are locked. peek inside... looks like maybe a few people are in there; guess it's a private party. call up luke. leave another message telling him to meet me across the street at another bar - empire.

runaway deathcab

my last nite in fargo - most likely anyway. gonna go out in style. left a message for luke telling him i'd meet up with him at great northern tonite. in the meantime, i need some food. drive around town to find a grocery store and sure enough - after an entire week of no car problems - the brakes lock up again. pull into a gas station; figure the brakes will release on their own if i just give them time. hmm... might be a good idea to buy a wrench and some tools in case i need to do some repairs / damages to the car, myself. talk to the gas station lady. she says there's a hardware store about a mile up the road. start walking. get there. buy a fancy $12 adjustable wrench after much debate as to what size my brake lines are and what other tools i might need to possibly loosen / break them. walk back to the car. it's been about an hour now. get in the car. start it. try to move. ain't budging. brakes are still locked. well, shit. i guess i'll just pop the hood here and take a look inside. okay, there's the brake lines. here's my new fandangled wrench. maybe if i just loosen it right here... shit! just stripping the nut... just then, the brakes release on their own and the deathcab starts rolling backwards into the middle of street with the hood propped open. fuck fuck fuck!! i run after and into it; pull on the emergency brake. drive it back into the parking lot. whew! the brakes are working!!

unknowingly lost and found

came across uma again while walking to campus. she was lying in the grass in front of the library. must of fallen out of my wallet sometime within the last few days. didn't notice she was missing. odd to have found her again; though she is noticably chewed and scarred now. maybe next i'll come across my flip flops or soap i lost somewhere in or around iowa?

a man walks along the railroad tracks

hopping trains. always an option...
























{junip - ghost of tom joad}

the view from above

choo-choo.

greetings from the interstate

howdy all! i'm on the side of the interstate right now. there's a great view of the railroads and trains that run thru fargo from up here. take a gander...

battlestar breakfast

after the shower, i got some food out of the car and went into the trucker's lounge to watch some tv. holy shit! a battlestar galactica (original series) marathon is on. only one of my favoritist, cheesiest shows ever. so, i'm eating some new! yogurt burst cheerios cereal out of a plastic q-tip container while watching battlestar galactica with a half-asleep trucker who keeps laughing at the really really really corny jokes - the best and only way to start the day!

singing in the (truck stop) shower

we had joy; we had fun; we had seasons in the sun... du du du du du da...

nostalgia

last nite - snuggled in the back of my car in a truck stop parking lot in fargo? the wind howling and a cold breeze coming thru the trunk door; i thought - you know, this is probably never going to happen again. enjoy it. i fell asleep with a smile. and a slight shiver. woke up this morning thinking - ah yes, my last day in fargo.

starting mileage - shit i forgot to check. fuck me, it's 200,000 something
to and fro - sta-mart and ndsu lib one last time

3 week anniversary

sporting the scholarly-serial killer-look these days. living in a car for 21 days does that to a guy, i guess. here's me at the ndsu campus looking for my next victim.

no nude snow angels for you

once again, no snow. and it's supposed to warm up the next few days. so, there will be no snow, at all, for poor poor jamie. apparently 2 feet fell in western north dakota; but the snow gods weren't willing to spread some love over here. son of a whore! what am i going to do now?

wash, rinse, update blog, and repeat.

starting mileage - 200912
to and fro - liquor sto' and y'r mom's. oh snap!

sweet baby james

no snow on the ground this morning. shucks. no icy testies either. hurray! the sleeping bag is doing a fine job of keeping me lukewarm to tepid. it was really stormy last nite though. the deathcab was shaking all nite, like a rocker for sweet baby james. the weather peeps are forecasting snow tomorrow morning. hope it happens. if it does, i'll go do a nude snow angel in the truck stop parking lot. i'll figure out how to take pictures if and when it happens.

feeling better today. less weighted by all the things that have been happening. fargo has been good to me, i must say.

starting mileage - 200898
to and fro - same ol same ol

snowballs

3 minutes and no change. i've waited long enough. i'm calling the national weather advisory. it's official - it's freezing; and i'll likely wake up with icicles on my testicles.

truck stop philosopher

started reading the myth of sisyphus by albert camus. scott gave it to me before i split boone, nc. getting more out of it than i thought i would. it's weird sitting in a truck stop diner reading some deep philosophical /psychological mumbo jumbo. i keep getting strange looks from all the cops and truckers. maybe i'll just look strangely back at them and see what happens...

bloody nose

had a huge nosebleed while in the sta-mart bathroom this morning. lost a pint or two; no biggy.

starting mileage - 200893
to and fro - home sweet home and the ndsu lib

performing live

i love the music on the radio at this truck stop. it rules! sitting in the diner area, a song comes on and i'm forced to sing along -

watching every motion... du du du du da du du du... watching in slow motion... du du du du da du du du... TAKE MY BREATH AWAY... du da da da du... (yes, i'm tone deaf). after my musical performance, i finished reading i wish someone were waiting for me somewhere.

fargo pigs

got my first donation off the website today! thanx bethany!! unfortunately, i got a parking ticket while finding that out. (i let the parking meter run out by 6 minutes). let's pretend i'll spend the money on something else, though. remembered luke saying the cops around here are picky and plentiful. been noticing a lot of 'em at the truck stop too. thought about getting my picture taken with them...

i grant you 3 wishes...

at the sta-mart on my "lunch-break." get a coffee. needs sugar. i pick up the sugar container (clear glass) and start pouring, but spot this black thing in it. hold it up and look again. it's gone. shake it some. see it again now. it's moving. it's buzzing. it's a fly. so, i'm holding it up looking at this fly in the sugar kind of surprised. peek around to see if anyone else is catching this. nope. i rest the sugar container on the countertop and unscrew the lid. the fly escapes in a miniscule puff of sugar - like a tiny negro genie being let out of its bottle.

starting mileage - 200885
to and fro - truckstop and ndsu library

golden slumbers interlude

still reading i wish someone were waiting for me. decided to call it a nite though. close to 2am. got a call while drifting into golden slumbers in the deathcab - "jamie. this is luke from fargo. it's like 10 to 2(am). just wondering where you are in your travels and uh... that's all i got man. give me a call sometime..."

staying in fargo

at a sta-mart truck stop on 12th ave. $3 showers; or free if you get gasoline. and up the road is north dakota state university. their library has a shitload of computers and it's open until midnight. sweet bejeesus!! i don't have to go back to grand fucks now!! was beginning to think the only decent computers in all of north dakota were there. so, sticking it out in fargo a few days. it'll give me a chance to update this site and see if the car is gonna fuck up again. sleeping (and showering) at the ol' truck stop...

poop! (this won't be the last time, i'm sure)

wandered around town. checked out the libraries in fargo but they suck. no computers for out-of-towners unless you want to pay $5 for a temporary library card. nope. was able to check email and crap though in a library in moorhead city. still feeling sick. drove to a walmart and passed out in the car for an hour. then took a 40 minute poop in the walmart of fargo. that made me feel better.

pining for uma

"There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion." - sir francis bacon

found this piece of paper crumpled in my pocket. someone left it at the bar last nite. guess i took it? don't know what to say really? though for a long time i did have an uma fetish. saw kill bill 2 three times in the theatre; got a bunch of pictures of her on my computer at home (all decent of course); and read enough of her online biographies to know that red is her "favorite color next to orange and green and yellow and silver and stone gray and dark blue." AND i knew before anyone else that ethan hawke cheated on her!! broke her precious heart - that bastard! yeah, now he's a pathetic, little, goateed prick making shite action flicks; while still pining for his lost uma - whom he cheated on!! (they may have gotten back together; i haven't been keeping up...)

oh yeah, and i dated a girl who looks a lot like uma too...

lions, boobs, and salami...oh my

took a shower this morning. clean yet again. sat in front of the boob-tube and watched some football with luke. good way to start the day - football in fargo. detroit lions vs. tampa bay bucs. my detroit lions. woo-hoo!! yeah... they lost. i didn't stick around long enough to find out there though; saw the score later at the library, on the inter-boob. felt pretty rough and hungry, so i said adieu to luke and went back to the great northern parking lot to get my vehicle and stash of goodies. open my cooler... what's for breakfast today? hmmm... ice? water? soggy cream cheese? soggy banana? soggy apple? some water-damaged salami? ugg... my stomach hurts...

leaving - the great northern parking lot
starting mileage - 200866
exploring - fargo. and maybe going back to grand forks for truck-stop-girl and computer

nothing but time

i also spotted this... a pile of 5 clocks? only 2 rooms, a bathroom, and i think a closet at luke's. that makes 1 too many clocks... or 4 too many clocks... hmm...?? asked him about it - said they were 99 cents, so he had to buy em.

sharing friends

wake with a pretty bad head and stomach ache - consequences of last nite. look around, trying to recall my whereabouts. fargo... slept on luke's couch... got it... i spot this note on luke's fridge while gathering my senses...

turns out a girl (not a guy), from an apartment down the hall, wrote it.